Madeline137

Hello all,

It has been over a month since I’ve visited and blogged.  My life has been a whirlwind.  On July 2nd, my mother suffered a stroke from a blood clot that the doctors determined broke free from her heart.  The stroke occured in the brain stem and thalamus region of the brain.  She never woke up from the coma and died the morning of July 15th.  She was 84.  My emotions for the past month have been all over the map, but I am OK.  The Lord is good and His strength sustains me.  He was gracious enough to allow my mother to surface to a “semi-comatose” state for a couple of days.  Although she could not open her eyes or speak, she was able for a few minutes a day to nod her head yes or no in response to questions.    We were able to say our good byes, tell her that we loved her, and assure ourselves that she indeed knew the Lord and would see us again in Heaven.  I had prayed for her and Dad for years concerning their salvation.  I’m still praying for Dad.  She must have known for a few months that her time on earth was short.  In a casual conversation at her kitchen table about 2 months before she died, she told me that she believed in Jesus as her Lord and Savior, but she said, “I don’t know about your Dad.  He is a hard case.”  I just smiled and nodded my head in understanding.  While we were preparing for her funeral and searching her closets for an appropriate burial dress, we found a garment bag that she had put a dress in and labeled “my funeral clothes”.  She also told me a few months ago that if anything should happen to her, I was to look inside the Bible on the book shelf.  I looked and found an envelop with her obituary that she had already written concerning herself.  Although she was obviously prepared to depart this earth life, we were not ready to let her go.  She will forever be in our hearts and we miss her greatly.  However, the knowledge that I will one day see her again comforts me. 

This experience has made a deep impression upon me.  Earthly life is but a breath, a vapor.  I envisioned while at the funeral home that our life is like a current, a stream, always moving, never stopping, always heading in the same direction and ending in the same place - Death, death to our earthly life, but not quite the end of all things.  Earthly death is like metamorphosis.  In an instant we are changed from mortal into immortal.  The spirit life continues on.  If it is “in Christ” it evolves into greater and greater heights of glory. 

Our life on this earth is so short, and so many need Jesus.

I gained 1 pound this week.  Although I am not happy with this, I refuse to give up and become discouraged.  There are many reasons why I could have gained a pound.  I kept my food journal and stayed on course, however, I attended a ladies spring fellowship banquet at the church on Friday evening and although I left food on my plate, it is possible that I still consumed too many calories for that day.   I also know that I have been exercising more frequently and it is possible that I gained muscle mass.  Muscle mass is a good thing.  1 pound of muscle will burn 50 extra calories a day.  So over the long term if I gain muscle, I will experience weight loss.  On Saturday, I went on a 7 mile hike through the hills of Pennsylvania - it took us nearly 3 hours over the hilly terrain.  I did some low impact aerobics this week and also walked a couple of other days.  I do not know exactly what led to the pound gain but the Lord is good.  He led me to some Scriptures that helped me not get discouraged.  Hebrews 6:12b … imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.  Hebrews 10:35-36
So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.  You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.  Colossians 1:11  We pray that you may be invigorated and strengthened with all power according to the might of His glory, to exercise every kind of endurance and patience (perseverance and forebearance) with joy.
Thank You, Jesus, that You have given me a steadfast faith that will not give up.  Through You, I will inherit Your promise of experiencing freedom and abundant life.  Amen!

I was just thinking about how good Jesus is and how much I appreciate Him, I guess I wanted to blog about Him.  Sort of like brag about Him.  Without Him, walking in this victory that I am now experiencing would not be possible - I know that beyond all doubt.  I’ve tried so many times in the past, in self-strength to overcome this overeating, and of course failed.  I’ve been walking in victory now for 1 whole month, all because of Jesus - 12 pounds are now gone off of my body!  He has truly set me free!  I’m changing in so many ways.  My thinking is changing, I have positive thoughts and I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!  I’m learning to keep focused, all the while thanking Jesus, staying alert daily to how I’m feeling and taking it to Jesus the minute I feel overwhelmed.  He exchanges my stress for peace.  He changes my distress to contentment.  He gives me beauty for ashes!  Thank You, Jesus!  I love You!   

Today was weigh in day and I lost 6 pounds!  The 260’s are gone forever!  Hallelujah. 

I’ve been thinking about Galatians 5:1  - It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.  Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. 

My Pastor once preached an illustration of how many Christians live today.  He spoke of a prisoner in a jail cell.  The day came when the prisoner fulfilled his duty, paid the penalty by serving the length of his sentence, and he was free to go.  The guard came, unlocked his cell door - but the prisoner would not leave his jail cell.  He felt unworthy to leave his cell, even arguing with the guard declaring, “I must pay the penalty!  I am guilty!”  The guard said, “You’ve paid the penalty.  You are free!”  The prisoner still would not leave the cell.  Although, the cell door was unlocked, standing wide open for the prisoner to walk through to freedom, he was not truly free until he believed and stepped out of the jail cell.  Many Christians live that way today.  They do not fully understand that the penalty for sin has already been paid for.  They feel the burden to carry their guilt.  The accuser of the brethren (Satan) often reminds us of our sins and failures.  Many feel like wretched sinners, never worthy to enter into the abundant life.  But, Jesus paid the price on Calvary over 2000 years ago!  We have been made free by the blood of the Lamb!  But, in order to experience the abundant life that Jesus promised, we must believe, take a step of faith, and walk out the door into freedom. 

Well, tomorrow is my first weigh in and I know that I will see the scales go down.  I stuck with the plan, even after going out with hubby Friday night for our anniversary (23rd) - I made wise choices and even left food on my plate!  I’m very excited about the progress that I am making, the positive attitude, keeping focused, one day at a time, thanking my Lord because “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!”  I try not to look at the long road ahead.  My Pastor preached an excellent sermon concerning the Promised Land this morning.   He spoke about how only Joshua and Caleb believed that they could enter the Promised Land.  They were the only ones who believed that God had given it to them and made provision for them to possess it.  God said, “I have given you the land!”  Out of all of the Israelites only Joshua and Caleb believed God.  The others saw the giants in the land and saw themselves as grasshoppers and declared “we can’t”.   God saw their unbelief in Him and His ability and they wandered around in the wilderness for 40 years.  That generation died off and never entered the Promised Land.  Only Joshua and Caleb, along with the generation after them, were able to enter in.  The Israelities actually wanted to stone Joshua and Caleb for their faith!  The same is true today.  Jesus said, “I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”  That abundant life is available to us NOW! not at some time in the future.   Jesus provided it 2000 years ago at the cross!  Abundant life is being set free from sin, addictions, over-eating, anything that keeps us bound.  Whom the Son sets free, is free indeed!  Over-eating is a giant that has tried to keep me out of the Promised Land of abundant life.   At one time I saw myself as a “grasshopper” unable to overcome this addiction to food.  I thought “I’ll never be thin.  I’ll always be fat.  I’ve failed so many times, I might as well give up.  Maybe God wants me to be fat because He’s using it to do a work in me.  Maybe God is trying to keep me in a humble place through my being fat.”  My thoughts were all wrong!  One of the fruits of the Spirit is self-control.  It is something that God has made provision for and is an aspect of the Abundant Life that Jesus provides.  His Spirit gives us self-control and God wants us to possess it!   My Pastor mentioned that there were three things that had to be done in order to enter the Promised Land Deut 26:1.  1)  First you have to come unto the Land (become born-again), 2) Possess the Land (diligently take it by force - Matthew 11:12) the same as spiritual warfare, having a bulldog tenacity, a never give up attitude, and also a faith that does not doubt (James 1:6-7)  3) Then you can dwell in the Land and enjoy its benefits.  Another thing that my Pastor mentioned that I found interesting is “The way of sin is a harder path.”  We often think of fighting the battle of overeating as being difficult.  But his point was this - at some designated time, all of us will suffer the consequences of not getting ourselves under control. 

Overeating leads to obesity which leads to the possibility of sickness (diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, even some cancers are linked to obesity)  Sickness leads to pain, financial expenses (Dr. bills, hospital bills) not to mention the mental aspects of being overweight (depression, low self-esteem) etc.   God’s way leads to freedom, health, energy, feeling good about myself, and the ability to do things that I’ve been unable to do for a long time.  

I think the Scripture that I am going to meditate upon this week is:  Galatians 5:1
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

I’ve been thinking about my goals - I would really like to work on keeping my thoughts positive.  I’ve been meditating on Romans 6:18
“Being then made free from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness.”  I’ve been telling myself, “I’m free from sin.  I’m free from gluttony.  The blood of Jesus has set me free.  I no longer have to be trapped by this sin of overeating.  I serve Jesus body, soul, and spirit.  I have made a determination to honor him with my body.  I want to be a good ambassador for Christ, a good representative for Him.  His Holy Spirit dwells within me; therefore, all of His power is available to conquer this stronghold!   
I would like to learn to stay focused on today, and not look too far down the path.  I do plan a little bit ahead concerning meals for tomorrow, it just helps me to not have to think about it when I’m hungry.  I don’t want to think about this as being a diet.  I really want to make permanent, life-style changes.  Right now it feels like a diet, because I am so focused on measuring food, portion control, learning what a serving size really is.  But, I believe that at some point it will become second nature, and I’ll know what a serving looks like without having to measure.  I know it will probably take a few years to take the weight off, I really do not want to think about that - but honestly - it took years to put the weight on.   

So I guess my goals for now are: positive thinking and keeping focused “today”.  

I am journaling my food - and keeping a record of everything I eat.  I’m also journaling my activities - these are also new goals, something I’m not used to doing.  But I’m finding that journaling my food intake keeps me focused and aware of what I’m putting in my mouth.  I’m looking forward to meeting new friends here.  I haven’t read too many blogs yet.  I’ve been spending the time familiarizing myself with the website.  So far it looks awesome!  I’m excited about the food journal that keeps track of calories consumed and expended.  All that I can say is WOW! 

Tomorrow I begin my journey.  I’m looking for freedom from over eating.  I desire to develope healthy eating, a healthy attitude, a healthy self image, and a healthy life.  I have to admit, I’m a little fearful, mostly because I’ve attempted to get control of my eating many times in the past and have failed to see any lasting effects.   I have a love/hate relationship with food.  I quit smoking about 19 years ago (cold turkey) and wish I could quit eating (cold turkey).  However, I know that is not possible, but the point is, it seems easier to get control of something that you don’t ever have to take part in again.  Just being around food is a challenge to me - I am easily tempted to overindulge.  This is going to take diligent prayer and meditation in God’s Word, as well as, following portion control, making sure I eat breakfast every day (I tend to skip breakfast), and exercising for 30 minutes at least 5 times a week.  I want to set goals that I believe are attainable.  I’ve had a tendency in the past to set too high of goals only to come crashing down in defeat.  My short term weight loss goal for this week is a loss of 1-2 pounds.  My mid-term weight loss goal is to lose 10 pounds by June 20.  I’ll weigh myself tomorrow morning and see what my long term weight loss goals are.   It is getting late and I am getting sleepy.  Good night to any and all who may read my “boring, because I was trying to get something on the page quickly” blog.